Life Lately

Life has kicked my butt lately. Missing loved ones, loved ones leaving us for heaven too soon, my mom having a major emergency surgery to remove a tumor (benign thank GOD!), diagnosis on my littlest (more on that another time... maybe.). I've talked about how anxiety has been sprinkled and pretty constantly a part of my life, and many times I can't quite pinpoint why but lately I know exactly what it is and unfortunately it's a wave I have to just ride out.

Reminding myself that this too shall pass, that it will all make me stronger and trying my best to concentrate on the things I can change. Things like, getting goofy with my first baby while the other naps; snuggling my sweet babes; decluttering and organizing our home; pulling the trigger on some design choices and letting the whole nesting phase kick in (since I couldn't while on bedrest!).

But more than all of that I am doing my best to also let myself feel all of the feels. The sadness, the anger and sometimes pure defeat. It's important for me to remind myself I am only human and part of getting through anything in life is allowing yourself TO FEEL. To feel whatever it is you are feeling, and then fill that balloon of emotions and let it go. I'm not quite ready to release all of the emotions but I am at the stage where the good feelings, feelings of love, gratitude and hope are balancing those other yucky emotions.

Just remember mamas, baby blues, seasonal depression, anxiety or whatever it may be that is causing your funk are ok to admit, say it out loud, talk to someone, ask for help, hug your babies, shoot, email me and we can Facetime while sipping wine. Do whatever it is you choose to help you get through the brunt of it and make sure you find someone that makes you laugh while doing it.

PS This has been my mama uniform as of late, button up (easy nursing access with a tank underneath that I pull down to keep myself covered)- relaxed denim and semi clean hair...

1. White Blouse ( many colors) 2. Free People Lovely Day Shirt 3. Rag & Bone (sized up for pregnancy/post pregnancy) 4. Madewell vintage high waist (just bought these!) 5. Topshop Ripped BF Jeans 6.

#mamadiaries

{Mamas Diaries: Mama's Milk}

Hello my darlings,

Man oh man the last month has been a whirlwind. Between my mom having a major emergency surgery (she is recovering slowly but surely at home), a newborn and partnering with our local family yoga studio all while the hubby was away for a chunk of the time, I have honestly been swamped. But I have missed this littles space and figured I would come back with a personal story and a recipe I make a couple times a week.

Breastfeeding a preemie (Zoe was almost 2 months early) was rough. I was anxious, like anyone may be when trying something so new (and so important with a whole lot of pressure). And having to start this journey with a NICU stay, a hospital grade pump and formula supplementation just about broke me.

But man did I stick through it. Pumping after every newborn feed for 3 months, and then switching to on-demand feedings, mainly because I hated pumping soooo much but also because I was able to work from home and stay at home with her. We stuck out our amazing journey for 18 months. And man the end was so bittersweet. Actually the whole thing was bittersweet. You don't ever feel like the old you after having a babe, in a great and sometimes not so great way; hello boobs why do you look like that?! But more than that you don't feel completely you until after you stop breast feeding, at least that is how it went for me.

Now fast forward to the second time around, a little less new and a lot less "judgy" + open to the fact that every journey is different, I had have a very different story with Miss Amani Isa.

My milk took about two weeks to come in (hello power pumping and some supplements which I'll share in another post) partnered with a lot of patience, made breastfeeding very different and might I say that even with mastitis/clogged ducts and all, much more enjoyable this time. Not saying it has been easier, cause this GF could care less about sleeping without a boob in her mouth but much more about just her and I.

This post is not about what works, doesn't work, or even about breast feeding being better (fed is best in my mind) but mainly as a reminder: we are creating, nurturing and raising different humans, so E-V-E-R-Y journey will be different. Be patient, kind and graceful with yourself and your boobies!! No matter how you decide to feed your babe, ignore the judgy wudgies and find yourself a strong village that you can lean on/cry to/celebrate with. Mine (some via social media / my family & husband / and dear friends) are the only reason I've survived the "barely keeping above water 4th trimester with two" days.

Now onto my favorite - nursing/craving chocolate ice cream at 2am /feed my toddler something healthy - snack.

Ingredients

3 old fashioned oats (use gluten free oats if you'd like!)

1/2 sun butter

1/4 c milk chocolate + 1/4 c dark chocolate chips

(I just bought these for my yogurt and will try in a batch next week!)

1/2 cup shredded coconut

1/2 shredded unsalted almonds

1/3 cup agave

1/3 cup flaxseed meal

1/3 cup chia seed

*I linked some of my favorite Amazon Prime ingredients because Amazon Prime is LIFE)

Simplest RECIPE ever

mix all ingredients in the mixer

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Use this as a guideline but feel free too add chopped up dried fruit or nuts or skip an ingredient, no agave, use honey, or no sweetener, you can also use your favorite nut butter (we have allergies over here so we stick to and love sun butter).

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if it's too dry just add a few tablespoons of water as it's mixing to help bind. Just add them in one at a time while it's mixing to make sure the consistency is just right.

But if you add to much just balance with more oats. You honestly can't go wrong. We like them cold but sometimes can't help but snack on the mix while we roll them.

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*makes about 24-30 balls, will depend on the size.

*keep to a bit smaller than a golf ball and they are about 3.5 Weight Watchers smart points each

Thanks so much for baring with me as I get back into the whole living life not on bedrest but with two kids thing. I am finally feeling like I am keeping my head above water more than not... lol At least until another sleep regression and in that case please send wine.

xo

Natalie

Other Recipes you may like here.

#mamadiaries #breastmilk #breastfeeding #dishes

{The Secret To Motherhood with Two}

Hello loves,

I've been MIA around these parts and for many reasons but the biggest one is that something always has to give. So much change, so much on my plate and simply this blog (as much as I love it) will sometimes come last.

My first post to my Mama Diaries, series of the new year. A series where I can share all about what is going on, vent on toddler meltdowns or simply pour my heart out for a quick therapy session. This weeks is: the secret to motherhood with two littles.

Hahahahah. Hope you really didn't think I had an answer to that.

I am sitting in my kitchen typing this, in the same clothes I threw on yesterday to look "presentable" for my husband (moments before he got home)... Which we then had a "date" in bed (mind out of the gutter here). Which consisted of me nursing Ami, while we ate dinner in bed and (fell asleep) during our second attempt at watching the last season of Luther (OMMGGG this show is amazing, minus the 4 episode season, why can't there be more?!?!?!).

My kitchen is a hot mess but the hubby made breakfast and my toddler is watching her iPad, because well the cold is back and newborns mean extra screen time and the living room literally looks like a bomb went off.

This is honestly the key to motherhood, it means accepting the damn mess. Accepting the season of life you are in and this is mine. It means a Gatorade drinking, milk stained nursing tank wearing, tired mama. Some are able to do this a bit more seamlessly but not I, right now balancing all means sometimes neglecting what isn't a priority. And at this moment keeping two tiny humans alive, fed, clean and happy, a husband fed (sometimes with takeout that he picks up on his way home!) is my priority.

That is my secret. And accepting that my secret is different than others was half the battle. In this age of oversharing via social media, we can easily bully ourselves into thinking that we have to be perfect but the truth is I have been happier this week, my toddler has had less meltdowns, my husband and I are less tense.

It sure is not pretty but it's not permanent. There will be a time when I am happier with the reflection in the mirror (holy moly belly flab and double chin), my home will be more organized/staged and I'll be sharing what i wore instead of what I wish I was wearing and that time will be welcomed. But for right now I am going to excuse myself while I snuggle my newborn, fall asleep next to my husband watching crime dramas and have dance + craft parties with my three-ager best friend. For now that is my secret to life and the rest will get done when it gets done (AKA when my mom and sister visit... ha! love those two.)

I will also mention how dang hard it was to look at these newborn pictures that I am in. Man oh man. I was the heaviest I had ever been and it did not feel great. But these photos, man oh man, these photos were SO worth it. The spanx, the double chin, the dummies to bribe the toddler: ALL WORTH IT.

My message to all of you mamas is get in the picture. And cut your body some slack. That body created, carry and birthed a human, those huge boobs are nourishing your sweet babe, those bags under your eyes are from keeping that tiny human alive and (most of) it is temporary. It too shall pass and you will regret not being in those pictures...

Happy week my friends and stay tuned for more. :)

xo

Natalie

#mamadiaries