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Life Lately Spring Edition






(these photos from spring break have me wishing for another trip!)

Hello hello!

We have officially almost made it through our first year in NYC. And holy crap, if I am being honest it was hard AF. Amazing yes but HARD AF.

The best part of this experience has without a doubt been that we have come closer as a family. Forced to physically be closer in 1100 sq ft apartment but also figuratively with new hurdles and challenges that come with big jobs, starting school and parenting in New York City. And doing it all without our families and friends.

We have been forced to communicate more, find our new normal and rhythm. All in time for the school year to end and summer break to begin. hahaha. But I am entering this new season feeling more confident that I know what our family needs, and what the girls need to be balanced. And what I need too.

Which is why I have taken a break from social media, turning off alerts, signing out and only coming back for a tiny chunk of time when I want to. Instead of the mindless scrolling in between appointments, down time, before I fall asleep or sharing on stories because I feel like I HAVE TO, because you know well it didn't happen if it's not on Instagram stories, (all this adds up to WAY more time than necessary on anything that isn't real life).

At first I thought that I would take a break from blogging too but I love this creative outlet. I LOVE being able to share, tips, sales, skincare stuff and recipes so I am going to fit it in as a weekly thing.

So this summer will be about a little social media detox, a lot of fun bucket list items to check off and maybe jumping on to share on IG when I feel like I want to. I have a plan is to continue keeping myself present for my girls and family but still allowing myself to work on my creative outlet.

I am working on two posts for this week: an update on each of us and one on what we are doing to avoid the summer academic slide. So be sure to subscribe and I'll send out a note when there is new stuff on here!

I am hoping that you all find some balance this summer and that it is filled with more of the good stuff than the ick stuff (which is what I say 1000x a day to the girls! ha!

Happy Wednesday my loves.

xoxo

Natalie

Five Things You Can Do Before The Weekend






Hey hey we survived. Survived the week. Survived the month. Survived.

And as I sat here doing the things ones does to prepare for the weekend I thought I'd share them. Simple things that you can do to make the weekend a good one.

1. Run and empty the dishwasher. Simple as that, start that weekend with an empty dishwasher and perhaps announce it to your household. This way dished don't pile up!!! I swear it makes me happy to have a clean sink and the counters even end up cleaner this way.

2. Clean up your space. Gosh this is the old lady in me but starting my morning off without having to pick up toys or counters makes me FRIGGEN HAPPY. I wipe down counters and vacuum, clean off the table, clean the sink, run the dishwasher, clean lunch boxes/water bottles and put away all toys (even if it's just into one of our catch-all baskets) every night. This is one of my favorites way to wake up and have that all done. But especially on the weekend when I know everyone can just enjoy the weekend.

3. Order Groceries. I was going to say buy groceries but man isn't ordering groceries the best damned thing ever. I order on Friday morning so we have all the things we need for the weekend/week. Which means I also meal plan & clean out our fridge before the groceries get here. One of us usually runs out and grabs the meat & flowers for the week, which I'll probably do this week so I can get a walk in.

4. Plan out the weekend musts. House projects, cleaning something out, workouts etc. I usually check the weather, the calendar (for two social calendars are much more full than ours) and make my lists (and share with the hubby). Last week we rearranged the living room to make It more functional + had a family playdate and the Superbowl, and this week I want to organize our game/movie console, ordering some furniture that we need to replace in the girls room and making sure we get out for something fun.

5. Get one load of towels, napkins, kitchen towels, and sheets done (sometimes I throw in the girls pj's too). I usually do this when they are eating dinner and then dry them while they are in the bath. ake this mama happy. Laundry just seems a lot less hectic when I do a load every day & put it away, rather than letting it pile up (tiny city washer and dryers make laundry day a TASK!).

It may not be life changing for most but for me, being the best version of myself just means I have to really make a priority the things that leaves room for the good stuff. For laughing and sitting with the girls while they eat or play, for sitting and actually watching a movie or waking up to a clean kitchen. You know the little things to make mama happy.

And to be honest this pre-weekend checklist may look different for everyone, but what I want to say is that making a conscious effort to think about what can make the weekend easier is a great start. Then hang that checklist or write it out on your weekly calendar to make sure you can cross it off.

Here is to hoping that you can make your weekend a little easier!

Happy weekend!!

xoxo

Natalie

PS watch out for some V-Day crafts, date night looks you can actually wear and a weeknight dinner round up to simplify your meal planning.

5 Moms Answer 1 Question

Updated: Jun 23, 2019



(photo from the most special WildBird shoot last Fall!)

Hey hey!!

I have been dying to start this new series. Mainly because this mama sure loves ALL the perspective when it coms to parenting. In the end I always tweak and go with what is right for each of my girls, and also feels right in my gut but it alway feels so good to hear how others have overcome whatever I am going through. And maybe it feels better to simply know I am not alone. Right?

So this series is 5 different mamas answering one question, (I'll rotate who the mamas are and try to include a variety). My hope is to help one or a few of you going through something similar. Because sometimes this little mama gig can be both exhausting and isolating but it doesn't have to be. This series is to bring us together and make it a little easier to get some of the tough moments.

So onto my first question of the series!

 

Question:

What do I do when my new Kindergartener is copying all the fresh behavior from other schoolmates?

 

Answers:

Kelly, work from home mom in the suburbs of Massachusetts of 1month old baby boy & Almost 3 year old girl.

"I guess gut would be to follow the Janet Lansbury approach of setting the clear limit and remaining unruffled/unemotional (aka not getting upset yourself) while she rides out the meltdown/tantrum.

When she is calm maybe a conversation about why the limits are set and helping her understand every family is different and these are the expectations in your house for keeping everyone happy, healthy and safe. And no matter what those rules do not change, no matter what other friends do or how upset they get or how they may act toward their parents/caretaker.

I would also try to create intentional "yes space" in the day. Even like an actual set amount of times that you count in your head unannounced) where you can let her lead.

This is all part of the transition of Kindergarten, new kids, different class rules and remember that she is just adjusting too it all still. It's all fresh and if you stay CONSISTENT she will turn the corner. There is no timetable to how long it takes kids to adjust and for some it just takes longer. And sometimes it does mean limiting time with the kids that she is mimicking, which I know is so HARD!"

(thank you kelly!! such a great reminder!)

 

Alex, NYC Mom of (almost 5year old) Kindergartener

I’m having the same problem with sophia coming home and “trying on” new (bad) behaviors, be it with words, facial expressions, tone, etc… after several failed reactions of shock, anger, and shame, I realize that that is all she is doing - trying it on.

I remind myself she’s five so she doesn’t understand the full meaning of what she is mimicking. I’ve found if i remain calm and non-plussed in my response and simply explain to her the why - it is not polite, or those are not words our family uses, or that a particular behavior can make someone else feel sad - she gains a better understanding of what she has said/done and why she shouldn’t say/use it.

I try to remind myself to respond in the same tone as if she came home and announced we live in Seattle, my response wouldn't be to get angry or to shame her, it would be to simply and unemotionally correct her, “no sweetie, we don’t live in Seattle, we live in new york city.” then I pour myself a drink, take a Xanax and pray that God has mercy on me when she is a teenager!

(omg I love you Alex!!)

 

Ana Working Mom of 2 (age 1 and 4)

I'm very transparent with Alecia and we do a lot of talking (things through) and modeling together. I tend to always revert back to the same thing, no matter what bad behavior (or out of character behavior)we are going through, I let her know how certain actions (or words) can hurt mommy and daddy.

I also remind her that there are proper ways to communicate and how she is communicating is not appropriate or making mommy or daddy proud. She usually understands and because she wants to please us will usually correct her behavior.

 

Abigail, Boston Nanny & Sitter to various ages, currently Full Time to two toddlers (ages almost 4 and 2.5)

In my position I am usually spending a lot of time with the children but I am not a parent so there is A LOT of pushing boundaries and seeing what they can get away with. My approach is always the same, I am clear with my expectations (even with the young ones!) with our house rules and we try and concentrate a ton on the good behavior, "what a great helper you have been during dinner" "you are being such a great big sister by sharing your toy" and when it isn't going so well we talk about our rules, and how I expect them to behave so that everyone can be safe.

It can be tricky when these expectations are set by everyone (parents, teachers, nannies) so getting everyone on board with the house rules is a great idea. Oh and star charts!!! They are never too young to not get excited about rewards so I always introduce a star chart to each family I work with.

(this is so true, everyone has to really be on board with the expectations for sure!)

 

Millie New Jersey Mama of two, a 5 year old Kindergartener and almost 2 year old.

We went through this both for PreK and again this year in Kindergartener, I am even seeing my almost 2 year old mimicking her big brother's behavior. So we pulled out a behavior chart, one very specific to the issues we are having but only using positive things on the actual board. For example our top issues are words we don't use, tantrums to get his way at any given time and whining through every meal or chore.

Mind you I know that these are normal kid behaviors but we did not see them until a few weeks into school and after volunteering in his classroom I know that it's copied behavior from specific kids. I jumped right into writing out the behavior chart: Only Using Kind Words, Using Our Big Kid Words, Being a Big Helper, Being A Kind Brother, Only Got Asked Once To Do something.

We do not take stars away but concentrate on the positive and give stars overtime something positive is happening. At first I was quick to point out losing stars but learned that celebrating the good was our best bet and not humiliating him for the setbacks.

Another huge win for us was writing out the house rules. We talk a lot about what our family does, how we act and writing out the rules and going through them every morning or whenever necessary is super helpful for this age. Parenting is hard and you should know you are NOT alone.

(what a great idea, going to create a behavior chart and get our family rules printed out)

 

It's so funny because in every single aspect of parenting advice that I've gotten (or read) has usually pointed to a few of the same things, be consistent, be patient, don't take things too personally as they are just tiny little humans testing things out, set expectations for you and them, and try and concentrate on the positive.

At least that is what I get from all of these points of view and gosh it's so helpful. Even in the last few weeks it has been super helpful for me. I am going to be creating a behavior star chart for the girls and be consistent in how reward. I'll tune back into this and maybe share our family rules and behavior star chart if you guys would like that!

I want to hear from you guys!!!! Send in your parenting question here!

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